Im sure most
of you know me, or for those who are not familiar with me, I am Jennifer’s
first cousin Lorna. Unfortunately, Im here in BKK that’s why its not easy for
me to just take the plane and come home to spend the time with Jen BUT believe
me, my heart aches too but i do believe that Jen will understand.. before i
started to type my lines, i spent hours to meditate, reflect and went back to
the old lanes and prayed after…
But let me put
things thru my timeline: back when we were like 6 or 7 years old, whenever its
a school holidays, my auntie, auntie Ester always take me and sometimes with my
ading Nora or ading July (Juliet - uncle John’s daughter) to Sagada for long
holidays. I must say that only when its school holidays that we had the chance
to see and spent time with Jenny. Honestly, Jen and I were not that very close,
but we both know that nevertheless we are very important person to each other.
When I heard of her passing few days ago, I was speechless, heart broken and a
sudden feeling of guilt, guilt and regrets that i should have gone seen her the
last time i went back home. I cried and cried to express these feelings that i
have inside. It took a while for me to compose back myself and i lay my hands
to God and prayed… I wanted to buy myself a ticket and come up here and stand
here today and say a few words about how she meant to me.
My cousin
Jenny grew up in Sagada and because of the distance between us, the time we
spent together was limited. Growing up, my mom would tell me stories about my
cousin Jenny and how proud she was of her. We were about the same age, meaning
we go to school at the same time and we managed to meet a handful of times over
the years when we would take family vacations to visit my father’s relatives.
“Memories,
that’s what life is all about as we share them with the ones we love.
Remembering others, as they pass on those pearly gates above.”
It wasn’t
until we began University that we really got to know quite a bit of each other.
I chose to go to the University of Baguio (UB) and Jenny was at the Baguio
Colleges Foundation (BCF). I remember too how auntie Esther was so gracious enough
to let me stay (sometimes) for a sleep over at their place. (diay Brookside
idi). This part, was when i started to get more closer to Jen.
Years had
gone. It was between 2002 or 2003 when i went back home from Cambodia. We had
our small family gathering at the Country Club (Lanie’s place before – Lanie is
manong Juliu’s wife). We invite family to join us. During that time, Jenny and
I planned something, like she will take a vacation leave from work and she will
come and visit me in Phnom Pehn, Cambodia. She was working for the government
office back then, (that was at the BPP, CAR regional office). We had a great
time that day, i remember we were outside the house and enjoying the sun,
chatting about life… Something that registered to me was the part when she
said, “life is good. GAWIS!”… I never did tell her that those words that came
out from her mouth meant a world to me and to this day, i still hold them
preciously because i know that at that moment, Jen was not joking, she was
sincere. I was looking at her and before going inside the house, we both
hugged.
Life moved
on.. until one day, in year 2006 - i received a call… Jenny was at the
hospital. I remember i called my auntie Belen and asked how’s Jenny. She
explained to me that she’s going thru some bad illness. (they don’t know yet
the reason why, only when the doctor told them that she was diagnosed with
kidney disease.) I was shocked too when i heard the news. I couldn’t do
anything but to pray that time and to offer my emotional support.
Jenny, over
the last 8 years, i spoke with you only a handful of times and have a special
grip on memory. You may not hear me now saying things but I will always be
thankful for everything that you taught me. It is painful to suffer illness and
with what you’ve been thru. You’ve teach everyone what defines the word, STRONG
means! For me, Jenny was an incredibly intelligent, caring and a brave mother
and a woman. I feel so honored to be related to her and will never forget her.
She will be my model for living my life.
You will
forever be in our hearts. You will never be forgotten and you will forever be
loved.
Ps. BIG HUGS
and KISSES from me and the Family. Lots of love!
thIS photo was
taken in our Grandsparents house in Demang Sagdada, I think we were about 7 or
8 years old here.
When I think of Jenny, one story keeps
replaying over and over in my mind was this picture.
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