Saturday, June 8, 2019

JUNE THOUGHTS

Normally, whenever I post on Facebook there’s always a photo attached to it. A photo that inspired me to create lines and share them with you. This time, I thought of just putting them on to my Facebook page.

I’ve been thinking a lot last night. I’ve been missing him. I miss those times when we sit together, have our coffee, he lights his cigar then he starts to educate me about life. I was thinking, how many days, months or years left for me to live, to enjoy this life? Tricky question isn’t it?

Just the other day when I was inside the temple. I had a sudden thought of giving blogging another try. I will re-start my blog and share stories that I may encounter or freshly a story of my own. The thing that drew me to share my Life’s stories was the idea of writing a story that shows the way Father God is at work in my daily life.

However, as I look at some of my stories these past few years, I began to wonder whether I had any interesting stories to share. I had been a stay-at-home Lorna since I became a widow, (sorry I don’t like to mention his name as it’s my deliberate choice) I wanted to try to convey that something was missing in the story. In this case, I’ll just share what comes to mind. So…what could I write about? Did or do I have any stories that anyone would want to read? Most of the time, when you share blogs or stories some may appreciate it, some will even love it or some may just tell you, “great share” or some may say.. "move on..." After a while I decided to come back to the vision of traveling. Yeah, I have been traveling and seeing places and it feels pretty good. It felt good especially when I’m driving and discovering places that I've heard of but never been or never seen. 

Then again, I might as well share some of my reflections of faith from my everyday life. I began to think about the things Father God taught me when I lost my husband. I thought I was left all alone and emotionally drained. Drained by so many things then finding how to calm this busy mind. Fortunately, it will naturally settle down, then you will come back to senses. I say Amen to that!

At the time, I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive, but by God’s grace. I did and still continue surviving. God has a way of letting me understand that we all have a purpose in life and He used those years of my feeling alone to change me, my heart and my attitude to situations. Everyday, God’s faithfulness in our everyday struggles, I love to share that prayer is very powerful.

Sometimes, when I am overwhelmed I tend to forget things. Normal, perhaps? But I am very grateful for all the blessings that God gave me and the blessings I receive every day.

I remember blogging about stories of those times when I was fortunate. Ha! Yeah, I was there too long time ago. I shared a lot of photos. Having the chance to wear fancy dresses, being in a high society parties and cocktails, eating expensive meals and drinking expensive wines and champagnes. I was taught how to open a champagne using a sword, yes, that was really something. I learned how to communicate properly with people… Wow! What a life, ha… but in the end, I also have a heart for helping people. That’s where my photography came in. I took photos and exhibited them for a cause. It worked surprisingly well. I was able to expand my creativity as an artist and learned a lot from that experience. 

Those years of being totally independent in life taught me a lot, so much lessons that I simply can’t name them all because there was always something going on every day. I am sure there are people who can relate with my experiences but sometimes, I am craving for words to define life when the situation gets complicated or tricky.

Sometimes, we start to see the goodness in a person once they’re gone. We start to appreciate their good deeds and their good intentions when we don’t see them anymore. I mean, I do appreciate and grateful to people when they are nice to me or when they do good to me. Thing is, I just don’t want you to become a candidate of someone feeling so guilty about something that you wished you could have done before. Some people post stuff on Facebook like a snap of a pose because they were standing for a minute in the suburbs and sometimes I can’t help but wonder, did they really feel it? Did they sleep there, interacted with the community and talked about their daily lives? Yeah, because at one stage, I did. We did! Somewhat felt like a tourist and whatever you do, you don’t actually fit in, so just pack your things and leave. 

In a way, I started blogging everywhere I go, taking any opportunity, about any thoughts, when I’m in a typing mood, in my laptop which I actually find entertaining and relaxing. Although, sometimes, I am quick to start then I find myself having a difficult time ending it, lol, sort of what writer’s refer to as writer’s block.

I feel like there is something fitting about (continuing to share) my blogging. I’m so thankful for all the blessings that is coming to my life. I love adventures because whenever I am driving all by myself or all alone, it gives me the opportunity to reflect on the daily gifts God has given me and the way He uses difficult circumstances to teach us lessons of patience, humility and love. And for that, I am thankful. 

I will still try to continue to reflect on my life’s events and try to share them on my Facebook page. It might not be all the time but when I can, I will use words and photos as a mirror of life.