...THE THOUGHT OF...

“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn't have the time to sit around and talk about you. What's important to me is not others' opinions of me, but what's important to me is my opinion of myself.”  ― C. JoyBell C

Going through the pace of adjustment period is always the part where challenges arises. Before my surgery, I went pretty deep thinking about the pleasant and unpleasant experiences I'm gonna go through after my operation. I noticed that the part of accepting something new especially when it comes to your health is pretty serious. I don't really know if i can make this change especially when it comes to food intake (strict diet menu) in a long term commitment but i will try. lolz


After two to three weeks of not writing my journal. I thought i will be writing again a long paragraphs of thoughts. I remember when i was at the hospital, i started to reflect again on many things especially those experiences that i've encountered from bad and good. I found that there are many people trying to search for love outside themselves and its about searching for someone to show them that love is such a big word and it does mean a lot of things. BUT. in fact, the only person who can actually show you love is YOURSELF. The condition is, IF you open your own heart and forgive, you will eventually find INNER PEACE and not only LOVE. 


There is this friend of mine in Singapore. She always love me since the day one we meet. (12 years ago). She's amazing and i am scared of how much i care and feel the appreciation of how loving she is to me. I am not perfect. I hurt myself sometimes, i hurt her, but we always come to the point of solving things with love. A love friendship. I believe that when you ACCEPT a person for who they are, the day you meet them (no judging the person from the surface)... you will never feel doubt and if there is, you will always go back to the good times and renew. LEARNING how to LOVE is such a tricky one because there will always be challenges that will come along the way. 


Life is really complicated when we complicate it. Im sure you agree with me... but I've learned too that in any relationship there are these few waves that we will go through yet we are still grateful for these feelings, the emotions: the pain, the joy, the sorrow, the heartbreak, the tears of both and neither, there are many people out there who encountered or experienced pain and yet.. we still find LOVE at the end. 


Oh well, that's pretty long one. lolz.. Hope you didn't get bored reading.. lolz. 

LET'S TALK ABOUT SELFIE! --- ♥ º ☆.¸¸.•´¯`♥

"Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory." - Susan B. Anthon

Normally, you stretch your arms, (just in front of you), look at your phone lens and smile with your best superfluous smile ever, then click that bottom and then, you go to your app where it will adjust the colours, the skin tones to your satisfaction THEN... post it or share! One very good example is when you have something new to share. New hairdo, new phone, new make-up, new dress, whilst in the gym, in the car or even some when asleep? or of course.. visited new places and etc... (oh yeah, i won't deny that too.. lolz..)

oh yes! It does exists! you might be wondering where did selfie started.. surprisingly, it all started in 1839 by Robert Cornelius! Exciting isn't it? Mr. Robert Cornelius (1809–1893) pioneered the first self photos. Image of The first “selfie”

I was laughing a lot a while ago when i received a PM from my long time friend, (anonymous)  talking about her face online (selfies). Of course, i LOVE selfie photos and i admire people by doing so, why? because they are so brave and free! --who cares about the way you look, you are just being yourself!  In a world where photo-sharing is on top of the web, where a new app is easily downloaded to rectify photos to become the best that photography has to offer.. SELFIES! 

For curiosity, i tried to find out more about the selfie picture that my cousin tagged me. I found out that the selfie picture i received was taken in 1920. Made me smile now because i really thought SELFIE pics are introduced this 20th century but apparently, not.  Here, you are looking at the very very very old picture of selfie.

"Snapped in New York on the roof of the Marceau Studio on Fifth Avenue, across the street from St. Patrick's Cathedral, this picture features five mustached photographers holding an antediluvian analog camera at arm's length. Because this camera would have been too heavy to hold with one hand, Joseph Byron is propping it up on the left, with his colleague Ben Falk holding it on the right. In the middle, you have Pirie MacDonald, Colonel Marceau, and Pop Core."

Yes, i understand why some people dislike 'selfie' because sometimes its annoying thing once could do but at the end of the day, when you do a 'selfie' you probably gonna give yourself some good dam laugh. I took few photos of myself and one time, i was quoted that I'm addicted to myself, i laugh like nobody else because when i went to visit her/his page, she/he has more selfie photos than me! lolz

It’s JUST SO FUNNY to bring to light things we do all the time and don’t think for a second, others MAY find it annoying or ridiculous. It’s the age in which we live. With all this technology, we are each given the opportunity to offer others a glimpse into our lives, no matter how boring or exciting they are. We used to be able to just take the photos. But now, with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Myspace etc. it makes it that much easier to share these photos so instantly, that sometimes it’s just so hard to pass up! It’s harmless. But, when you come across a post like this, it’s a reminder of just how funny and/or stupid some of these so called ‘selfies’ come off.

So, you still think that people who take selfie photos have mental problem? I think you better think twice, don't forget that not all people taking 'selfie' pics are crazy, they are just FREE! but other than that, just don't over do it.. otherwise, it will become like a selfie addiction and you may end up posting EVERY SINGLE activity of your life.. no privacy! 

NEGATIVE HAPPINESS

"Happy people get a lot of joy from receiving benefits from others while people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others," explained Kathleen Vohs 

Some say, that NEGATIVE HAPPINESS define as -- miserable people who love to watch someone fail. Some will gossip stories about you and will put you down and will never be aware of their wrong doings and assume they are right. Some will use your words to destroy you... so determined to PUT YOU DOWN... I think that's just a few understanding about the NEGATIVE HAPPINESS. 

I happened to asked few friends on what they think about NEGATIVE HAPPINESS and some don't literally understand what it means, some say --  people bunch of crap! and some say... "perhaps, one feels happiness when there is jealousy, competition and bitterness in ones heart, the feeling you get when that person fails to accomplish things or just simply failed..." 

There are probably lot of opinions when you start asking about NEGATIVE HAPPINESS. You must be wondering why I'm into this. How do the happy life and the meaningful life differ? Happiness, they found, is about feeling good. Is it true that people who are happy tend to think that life is easy, when they are in good physical health, and they are able to buy the things that they need and want... WHILE not having enough money decreases how happy and meaningful you consider your life to be, it has a much greater impact on happiness. The happy life is also defined by a lack of stress or worry.

Does it means that transcends the self while happiness is all about giving the self what it wants. I do agree that sometimes, people who have high meaning in their lives are more likely to help others in need whilst some, will probably believe that not helping or being selfish is one of their key to happiness. 

In contrast to the other's happiness, the most sensitive part when you help is when you are expecting something in return, OR when you intended to make yourself known as the the kind of giver and get recognitions. Here comes the part where we see the difference between animals and human beings when pursuing happiness.. 

There are many examples of achieving happiness: Giving a part of yourself away to others and making a sacrifice on behalf of the someone else; In other words, the whole meaning of your life is to be a "kiss ass" talent in order to pursuit your purpose. "using your highest strengths and talents to belong to and serve something you believe is larger than the self."  - i've seen when people try to please other people beyond their limits when achieving happiness. (self-happiness). People whose lives have high levels of meaning often actively seek meaning out even when they know it will come at the expense of happiness, maybe because they have invested themselves in something bigger than themselves, they also worry more and have higher levels of stress and anxiety in their lives than happy people. 

"Partly what we do as human beings is to take care of others and contribute to others. This makes life meaningful but it does not necessarily make us happy," My friend, Bhea from Sri Lanka shared that when i asked her too.. 

Meaning its not only about transcending the self, but also about transcending the present moment. While happiness is an emotion felt in the here and now, it ultimately fades away, just as all emotions do; positive affect and feelings of pleasure are fleeting. The amount of time people feeling good or bad correlates with happiness but not at all with meaning.

On the other hand, Happiness is also enduring. It connects the past to the present to the future. Sometimes, we go beyond thinking about the present moment, into the past or future. Is this a sign of the relatively meaningful but unhappy life? Do you think, happiness is not generally found in contemplating the past or future? I really believe that people who thought more about the present are happier BUT people who spent more time thinking about the future or about their BAD SUFFERINGS or STRUGGLES from the past felt more meaning in their lives but they are less happy.

Lastly, when you invest yourself thinking about the negative events happened to you, this will definitely decreases your happiness but will eventually increases the meaning you have in life. THIS combination should not be mix with your sad emotions but instead, will clearly defined your purpose. 

Like what Frankl wrote... "If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering." 

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.”  ― <a>Viktor E. Frankl</a>, <a>Man's Search for Meaning</a>